- Dreams of desires -
Well, honestly, the past 2 months, it was kind of wonderful, God has always been good to me, the past 2 months, i had a rather interesting experience with her, it was a feeling that was like no other. The bond we had, the laughter and smile we shared, it was something that i had wanted from God earlier and it was given to me.
But, now as exams draw closer, i find myself in the state i used to be, its not because of the fact that she has stopped talking to me, its however the fact that i may be paranoid. Last night, i was talking to my brother abt it and he scolded me, he told me that this shldn't be the way i should be feeling, but i told him it was like something that any guy should feel when he comes across a girl he likes. And as usual, my brother told me not to let it affect me too much, but i am always bounded to problems like this, as much as you might want to tell me not to hold onto such feelings, i always do. Sad to say, i always carry my problems wherever i may go, ironically, i always tell people to share their problems with me so that they may feel better when i dont practise it myself. Sometimes, i hope she turns around and look at me, ask me about how things are and my studies, instead of me asking her most of the time.
Born on the 17 Jan, the day i was born on was known as the day of the Heavyweight, i am a motivator and a manipulator(this may not be so true as so far, i have tried my best not to manipulate pple). An each time i look back at life and the events around it, i believe that what the book wrote abt the day i was born, was relatively true, indeed, i have always been a friend who was there, caring and motivating others to do their best. And at the same time, i have also manipulated pple to do things that i wanted them to do in the past, i do not feel proud of it, and i hope that i dont have to do such things again.
I haven been sleeping well this few days, i have lots on my mind right now, of family, of exams and of pple. For the past 2 months, i had a dream that i found it to be something that i desire very much like my previous time, but this time, i finally got to see the person face and its the person that i desire to be with the most. My first dream was a rather short one, in it, she was sitting very close to me and we were talking abt something, suddenly, i gave her a peck on the cheek, what happens after that, was blank, i couldnt remember what happen. My second dream was early this morning, i woke up suddenly in the wee hours of the night, then i suddenly thought abt her, and as i let myself go back to sleep, i was thinking abt alot of things in my head, but suddenly, i was dreaming again. This time, we were outside, going to many places, then we ended up a place where i took a seat, she was just behind of me, next thing i know, her head was resting above my head, then after that, i left her hands wrap around my neck, i held onto her hand and her face was placed next to mine, it felt great, i was glad that it happen. i gave her a peck on the cheek, it felt as if it was so real and that i was already someone so close to her. we continue holding on to each other for awhile before she let go and said something weird, i look at her and smile, telling her not to worry abt it. We carried on with our journey to where we were heading to, the details of it was not clear and i could not remember what was in the dream. There was one last thing that happen through out the dream, the exact time or place where it happen, i have forgotten abt it. In the dream, we had a kiss, i dont really remember what things lead up to the kiss, but to me, it was something that was just wonderful.
That was pretty much my dreams, simply to put it, it was wonderful to have dreams like this, it was something from my heart, God took it and made it into a dream for me. I have always been grateful to God for all the things that happen, from the moment i met her for the first, to the feelings i have for her. I am grateful and for the first time, i will let God take me and use me to do whatever he may have in plan for me for today and possibly for the next few days. God, as you know, this is a offering that i am willing to give and i trust and have faith that you will do it in the way it pleases you, i would like you to give me the things that i desire most in my heart as well. The things i promise to you, God, are the things i will do as well for you when you you answer the request that i have ask of you abt her. So there is alot of stuff i am willing to do for you, God, so pls do answer my prayers abt the things i ask of you.
This is a jot down of the things that i have remembered till this day far, and if i do look back, i hope it provides myself a view of the things that happen and to be grateful for all of it. To remember the promises that i have made to God and to do it when he answers mine, because God is always there for me and answering my prayers.
