This past 2 nights have been really good and trying to recall all those dreams was something that i always try my best to remember. Thank you, God, at times like this, you give me dreams that all me to think back of the things that i have done for her. Honestly, when i asked you that night of what your plan was for me, i somehow never really expected a dream about her. Though i did asked for it, i never knew that you would have given it to me. Memories and dreams are what i have of her, 2 dreams of her in a row has been really a blessing for me, God. I know that sometimes i forget the things i promise you, but i would like you to know that its good to remind me from time to time of those promise i made to you.
For her, like i told you, if your plan for me is to be by her side, i will be there for her, caring for her. I promise that i will love her with all of my heart and make her the happiest woman in the world. And honestly, i will trade anything that i have to ensure that she is safe and that i can be there for her. Today, i have many memories of her that went through my mind, and that feeling of loving her so much is back once again. I may not know what the future may hold for me, about this girl that i love so much, but what i do know now is that i love her with all of my heart. I am that kind of person who gives his whole heart to love a girl, i would never want to short change her of the amount of love that i have for her. So God, i ask sincerely, that if there could be a way or chance, i pray that you allow me to spend the rest of my life, loving her and showing her who you are. Though i may not be the best chrisitan to show her who you are, i am sure that with her i can tell her and show her who you are and the things you have done.
The dreams that you gave me on the night i asked that you showed me what are your plans for me and as well as a dream of her. I dream that both of us were talking about something in front of a magazine stand, i could not remember what it was that we were talking about, then when asked about something, all i could remember was she saying something about a artist signature and cannot afford it, then she laugh. i look at her and laugh along with her, paying really close attention to her laughter and that smile on her face. And that pretty much it. I always remember when i sit beside her in class or when i walk up with her to class on wednesday, that look on her face when we talked as we walked up and down for class. i still remember that day when it was raining and as we both walk down from class while she was carrying an umbrella and telling me how cold it was and that steam was coming out when we were talking, i somehow felt that the reason that i love her was that she was so beautiful to me. With the umbrella and that look and smile on her face, i felt so deep in love with her at that point of time.
The second dream on the following night started or what i could remember was this, i was walking beside her up to somewhere, she told me that she was meeting a friend somewhere on the top and that the friend was coming by a cab. As we both were finding the place and wanting to reach there fast, we were kind of brisk walking or jogging up the slope. I could not remember why we got on the bus but what i tried to remember was that the bus was meant to take us somewhere and the bus driver was telling us that it was going to a place just opposite the destination and i felt that it was the wrong place we were going. After that, the fire alarm rang off at my hostel and i woke up. I somehow faintly remember me walking beside her, talking and joking with her as we were looking for that place she was meant to meet her friend.
Third dream (14/6/11) - I don't have much idea what the whole thing was about, but what i could remember was this, i was sitting down talking to her and another girl and when ask where i stayed, i think i gave back a very funny answer. She kind of gave me the "huh?" look and i smiled saying back in chinese the place i stayed in singapore, "Shi long kang hua yuan". Then pretty much we continue talking and i saw her laugh and smile through out the conversation we had. Finally, what i could remember was when i asked her a question, she kept quiet but was smiling abit. Thats all i remembered.
All these dreams reminded me of the things that i loved about her and how much i wanted to love her. As i have mentioned before, God, i don't have much dreams and when i do have this few dreams, i find them very valuable and precious. Thank you for these dreams that you have given me. I hope that you will show me what are your plans for me, my soul will always be yours, God. No matter how much sin i may have done against you, i hope you forgive me. No matter how much i may despair and blame you for it, i hope you know that in the end, i will go back to you. Whatever your plans are, i hope you show me. And as always, there is something that i ask sincerely from you, God. Take good care of her and bless her. I will always love her no matter what and will be there for her. I pray that you give me a chance to love her for the rest of my life, God.
I Love You, Jolyn.
